Friday, February 8, 2013

Music

So there's this song that reminds me of my mom. Donna Lewis is apparently this Welsh one-hit wonder who did this song called "I Love You Always Forever." It's like a generic pop song, it's pretty bad lyrically and sonically. But you don't know that when you're a little kid. I was probably between 3 and 5. My mom's bedroom, green and white vertical striped comforter, sturdy wooden box/bench at the end of the bed, shitty alarm clock radio. If you could get past the crackle, you could hear the song. Always. Forever. Meant to be together. I love you.

It's not the music that tugs the ol' heart strings, it's what's behind it. I don't care about the quietly angelic voice that's so damn persistent.  I don't care that the accompanied underscore sounds like an over-sentimentalized adventure. I'll tell you because I'm supposed to, but it's tedium. Minutiae. The song doesn't mean anything, my mom does. My mom makes the song.

I've done an awful job of showing it, but it makes me happy, because my mom loves me. And I know because Donna Lewis and my mom and I all told each other that we did. And it makes me sad, because it reminds me about the sands of time forcing their way down that narrow cylinder. My mom isn't here forever. She's here, but not forever. But her love, her love is. She sang that it's forever, and I believed her.
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9 comments:

  1. UnknownFebruary 9, 2013 at 7:10 AM

    I feel the same way about my mom and "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond.
    I really like how you describe the song in matters of "I don't care" and end it with what you DO care about. It also looks like you talk about your mom in the style if the song--I think that is very cool.

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    1. DaveMarch 5, 2013 at 5:10 AM

      This is a beautiful Short Take. Anyone else thinks there's some mystery at the end? It sounds like the writer has reason to believe his mom won't be around indefinitely.

      I'm loving the specifics of the bedroom. The tinny sound of the song playing on a stupid local FM station. Mine was WHAI, 98.3, in Greenfield, Mass. You can probably hear their jingle.

      DW

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    2. DaveMarch 5, 2013 at 5:11 AM

      Yeah, and Sweet Caroline does the same thing for me and my mom. Any Neil Diamond song, really. "What an entertainer," she says about him.

      Unfortunately, it's kind of been diminished because it gets sung at Fenway Park at every game. And sometimes I have trouble believing that "good times never felt so good."

      DW

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  2. UnknownFebruary 11, 2013 at 5:02 PM

    I thought this was a terrific, genuine essay. It's so blatantly honest, and I love it because it is beautiful without an ounce of sugarcoat.

    My favorite part of the essay was "The song doesn't mean anything, my mom does. My mom makes the song." Sometimes songs become special to us because they are special to the people we love, or because they remind us of the people we love. Even if it's not the type of music that we would normally find ourselves listening to, we can't help but love the song anyway.

    The song "American Boy" by Estelle doesn't have the deepest lyrics, but it reminds me of dancing around and singing with my sister, so I adore the song because every time I hear it, I think of her and smile.

    Like you said, it's what is behind the music that matters.

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    1. DaveMarch 5, 2013 at 5:16 AM

      How does Matt pull off the "beautiful without an ounce of sugarcoat"? I think one of the ways is that he's acknowledging sentimentality as a subject itself.

      Great comment Alexis.

      This post also reminds me of Tristan's thinking about authenticity. This Donna Lewis song was created in a focus group. So was Applebee's. So, Tristan would argue, was Danny Boy. But it can still be imbued with meaning in what Eggers calls "the short, fraught lives of human beings who limp around and sleep and dream of flying through bloodstreams, who love the smell of rubber cement and think of space travel while having intercourse."

      Near and far, closer together.

      DW

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  3. UnknownFebruary 12, 2013 at 2:57 PM

    This essay was beautiful. So beautiful, it really gives the reader an inside look at you are. I feel like I know you so much better now after reading this. You gave me an inside look at your childhood where you and your mom sat in her room and listened and sang a song to each other. The two of you shared this moment and now you have shared it with us. I loved how you pointed out that it's what is behind the music and the beat that matters. It's the moment behind the music that matters.

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    1. DaveMarch 5, 2013 at 5:17 AM

      I'm listening to the song right now, and it's making me wonder. Did Matt and his mom sing it to each other, and should we see that? Damn, that's tender.

      Out of the stillness, softspoken words. . .

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  4. Tristan CormackFebruary 13, 2013 at 2:51 PM

    This is very good. Your sentence structure, especially in the last paragraph, fits the realization and staccato-like acceptance of mortality we face, and you reveal it in an essay about a pop song. Wow.

    You are completely right about nostalgic songs. There are many songs that I can listen to and love that are shallow or cliche (The Anthem, Good Charlotte) simply because of the memories surrounding them. You did well to point this out. I think that being a musician really allows you to appreciate inherent beauty in music and makes you break away from nostalgia and sentimentality when liking a song.

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    1. DaveMarch 5, 2013 at 5:20 AM

      Good call on the sentence structure, T. I'd still say there's something more about that last paragraph that the writer is not opening up for us.

      Good stuff, though, Matt.

      You know what. Screw it. This song is awesome. I don't care who knows it. Dave Wanczyk loves "I Love You Always Forever."

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